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Who I hate more than anybody else

Discussion in 'Berserk Rage' started by Heidi, Jul 24, 2010.

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  1. Heidi Member

    The person I hate most in the world is myself. Most people that you don't like, the easiest way to deal with it is to avoid them. If the person you hate is yourself, the only way is death.

    I just cannot get on with people.

    I had no real friends in primary (elementary) school. I'd have to play on the playground by myself nearly every day except for when I was randomly allowed to join others. Usually that was just so they could tease and laugh at me though.

    Highschool, I had very few friends. I was often told to hurry up and kill myself because I was a waste of the oxygen in the air. I wasn't allowed in the common room. I remember sitting with a bunch of the others because one of them there was my friend. This other girl came up to me and was like "Don't try and include yourself in our group, you aren't welcome".

    My sister hates me heaps. She is embarassed to have ever had to have a sister like me and have to go to the same highschool as me because of the embarassment.

    I have never been in a relationship. In my whole life. I got asked out when I was 13 (and said no, even though the guy was a really nice one), but that is it. Well, I also got asked out by a total idiot when I was 15 and went along with it for a day and then told him where to go. But yeah...

    In university I have a few friends. But nobody really sits with me in class and stuff. I have to sit near the front to be able to concentrate, so I tend to get left by myself. Nobody ever wants to do anything with me out of university time.

    I was in a group project at the start of the year but am too much of a social retard so they hated me and I got too stressed so dropped out of it. Major failure.

    Yesterday I was horrible to one of your fellow SSA'ers. Said person hates me now. Said person would try and help me so much but me being the selfish ungrateful retard that I am drove them away.

    Last night I got banned on IRC for awhile just because I was drugged up on sleeping pills so couldn't type very well. I wasn't being mean to anybody or anything. I guess I am such a retard that I wasn't wanted.

    My flatmates always have fun with each other, but not me. They were talking about going tramping last night. Too bad I wasn't invited. They go to the shop together too. I'm never invited.

    And this person that everybody hates... I have to put up with every second. I do not want to know that person anymore.


    To those who have friends, you are very very lucky. I wish I was good enough, and not such an idiot.

    I know you're all going to call me an attention seeker. Go for it, I deserve it.
  2. Archie Mexocan

    Hey, I'm bad with people too :v

    I'm just glad I've grown into a person who is much less dependant on friends for happiness.
  3. Margatroid Extreme Fag (EXTREME!!)

    Some people have that disadvantage. You can either deal with it and try harder, or keep whining like a faggot, in which case you're just making up excuses not to keep trying.

    Here is a tip to start you off. Optimism wins friends, so don't be a pessimist. Don't always apologize for every little thing, pretend things are going better than it is, etc.
  4. Soltis Carried by Sandors

    You can't always avoid other people you hate tbh, but one thing you can change for the most part is yourself.

    You just have to actively think about what youre doing and when, until you make a habit of doing something the correct way.

    I know this by personal experience, since me and my brother used to have a pretty bad relationship as well.
    There were alot of things he did that got on my nerves, and the same for him about me.
    But the moment I started appreciating the things he would do right that other people I know were way worse about, and started making a conscious effort to avoid doing unnecessary annoying things, he started somewhat as well, and now we get along fine.

    Also, to the all those people who were mean to you like that, forget them, that's their loss and will probably be the cause of their own suffering in the longrun.

    Don't let them make you hate yourself. You're the only person you can truly change and if you take steps towards the way you want to be, you'll start to love yourself more.

    That self-love and self-happiness will attract the kinds of friends/relationships you want.
  5. Ring "...that's my role."

  6. conewicci I dun goofed.

    You just have horrible luck. From what I've seen, you're super nice, and aren't weird/mean or anything... so I think you're just one of those people that are placed in a fucked place with asinine people and have to live with it. Don't blame yourself, but don't QQ about it either. Learn to live with it, and find friends somehow (in real life I mean.)
  7. Margatroid Extreme Fag (EXTREME!!)

    Or go to /jp/ or /a/ with everyone else who gave up at life.
  8. Ridureyu Old Man

    It's best to have an accurate view of oneself. Love the good, but don't get a big head. Hate the bad, and try to improve it. Be aware of your limitations, and do the best you can. Realize that you're not always right, but nor are you always wrong.

    And hey - if you see yourself as "the one person never invited who is always negative," then why not try to be positive? In fact, invite others to go out with you. See what you can do to brighten someone else's day instead of strictly looking for ways that they can brighten yours. You may end up finding yourself surprisingly happier that way, too.
  9. Divine Supreme Dictator

    It's alright, lets' be lonely together.
  10. Heidi Member

    Got any tips on doing that?
    Is pretty much my main goal at the moment, have been trying to do that for a few years now. Havn't gotten very far yet though, but I hope to eventually.
  11. Soltis Carried by Sandors

    I think maybe I just IMAD over this statement, but honestly who would want to be friends with some of the people she was describing?
    Telling her to kill herself, telling her not to sit with their friends and etc. I mean really what kind of normal person even has the time to say that stuff to people they don't know? They seem pretty warpped/demented to me personally.

    Man this place needs rep so bad :V /greenbar Ridureyu
  12. Margatroid Extreme Fag (EXTREME!!)

    Talk with me tomorrow.

    I've studied this field. I have social withdrawal syndrome, and I still have a social life. I'm going to bed for now.
  13. Heidi Member

    I try to sometimes. Occasionally it works out, often they have an excuse, and there's even been cases where they've said yes then other friends have asked to hang out with them so they decide to ditch me.
  14. Gir Raging Homosexual

    Posting in a tro--
    Wait, what?
  15. Ridureyu Old Man

    Well, the trick is not to do it once or twice and then say "nothing works!" Develop habits that turn you toward the way you want to live.

    And yeah, if people are actually terlling you to go die in a fire, maybe they'renot your friends. It can be hard to find a niche group sometimes, but they DO exist. College is usually a good chance to find a few, too.
  16. Heidi Member

    I have been in college for 2 and a half years. I started realising I was different when I was about 11 or 12. Since then I have been trying to fit in and failing at it.
  17. Ridureyu Old Man

    Well, you've probably got a few more years in college, then? Remember how you viewed older, more experienced students? That's how the new ones'll think of you :)

    And even if you don't find a nice group there, college isn't the end-all be-all of life.
  18. Heidi Member

    I've had a bit of a think and yeah, I think I just need to be a lot colder and less trusting and not really care about other people or what they think.

    I'll try just focus on getting all A+'s this semester in university rather than caring about other people :)
  19. AiNoMinako Poke Poke Poke

    i thought you wanted a better social life ._.
  20. Heidi Member

    *Freezes Miki with her evil glare (Well actually just a freeze grenade)*

    I do want a better social life to take away the pain of the fact that I tend to get excluded. But I can also take away the pain by not caring.
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